A further sign of health is that we don’t become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it’s time to stop struggling and look directly at what’s threatening us
—Pema Chodron, The Places that Scare You.
Monday, day 5 of this back injury, I decided to go for an extended walk. Simply lying around does not heal bad back, moving the muscles help heal those same muscles. However, after the 5 K, 53 minute walk, convinced I felt good that day, Tuesday brought the pay back.
Oh, lordy, it hurty.
My back had spasm upon spasm. Luckily I had a muscle relaxant on hand, and took the day off. I had physio on Wednesday with the my therapist cautioning me on taking too much too soon. I just wanted to get back to normally as quickly as possible. Most people would say ‘Oh, joy, a week off from work.” Well, I feel bored, bored, bored, and let me insert a pop culture reference:
Today represents the first day I caught sit down for a period of time. Between this and the dental surgery last year, I fear what my body can throw at me next.
The reason I went on my crazy 5 K walk was the Monday Learn to Run/5 K clinic. I wanted to come out and see the guys. Most people stay away from the Running Room while injured. I needed to come out. In short the motivator of the clinic needed to get motivated.
On that night, Fiona Odlum from CJOB told her story as part of the motivation. She actually began her talk with something still with me. Fiona said, “Your body will give out before your brain.” I admit to crying in the waiting area at the physio office, luckily it’s one off to the side, and in the change room at Pam Am. (That stupid sign made me laugh out loud.) The pain brought tears, but the fear made them flow. I worked hard for this life. I know it doesn’t define me. I want to take a deep breath for a little while before life hands me the next part of the journey. I changed careers, worked in many places all at once, moved to a new place, and carved out a new life. I want to enjoy my present.
While I did cry a little, I wiped the tears to focus on rehab. I know this hurts, whispers Eve Encourager, but we have to do this to get better just breathe. Luckily, I found myself a good physiotherapist, nicknamed S, who I will stick with after all I get well. She recommended this el cheapo way to do muscle release:
To get rid of the troublesome spot on my left side, S recommended taking a tennis ball and rolling it against the spot. It may feel like probing a bruise, but it helps loosen the tightness up. The tight spot on my left side put pressure on sciatic nerve in the first place.
The other part of the treatment plan, other than rest, involves some walking for 10-15 minutes. Well, my back tells me times up for this bit of sitting. Back to rehab. Tomorrow it’s physio again plus a massage therapy appointment at the same place. Can you say ‘huzzah!’