Like blowing snow around Winnipeg, the internet has articles about New Year’s resolutions flying around. I remember typing out mine, back in the days of my beloved Brother AX-15 typewriter. They did not seem impossible, more like a set of goals but I did have ‘lose weight’ quite often, and I did try to exercise. That lasted until March while sputtering in February. After years of self-recrimination, I learned it happens to everyone.
This time around, I set goals, kept them private, and revise throughout the year. Much better this way. I gave the boot to ‘lose weight’ and took a page out of a blog resolving not to gain more. It’s an idea borrowed from Edmonton physician Dr. Aya Sharma, a specialist in Obesity. If the word ‘sane’ can apply to someone in this area, he fits the bill. He’s not perfect, but he’s also one of the few doctor’s calling out weight bias in patient visits. Once I got it in my head to not gain, rather than lose, suddenly food did not look like an enemy. I also read up on intuitive eating and began to ‘listen’ to my body.
We had some great conversations.
Body: Any word on Berlin Station having a Canadian broadcast yet?
Me: No, (Arches an eyebrow) any reason?
Body: Don’t lie, girlfriend, you know the reason. We can name the reason. We can even describe the reason: 6’2, British accent, blue eyes…
Me: Stop it.
Body: Loves to read, totally nerdy, need I go on?
Me: Maybe I should resolve to get a nice local single guy…
Brain: (Busting into the scene) Here’s a slide show of all those Match.com candidates you looked at. Seriously, he may be a few thousand miles away, but he’s the treatment we came up with to counter desperation. He keeps you occupied and everyone else out of trouble. By the way, Valentine’s Day crap has hit the stores.
Conversations about food/drink usually go like this:
Body: Yikes! Hey! Feeling too uncomfortable over here. Maybe pass on that next helping.
Me: Mmmm, wine.
Body: Let’s take a break for a week or two. Feeling puffy here.
Me: (Has a fourth cup of coffee)
Body: Water! Need Water.
Taking my own advice, I start small. After having large meals, a bowl of Primo Brand Lentil Harvest soup fills me up. The very thought of chocolate, or something salty, leaves me numb. It’s easy to look at January like a brand new page in a journal. The festivities are over, all the partying has finished, unless you follow the Gregorian calendar, in which case not yet, add new terms for those working in school and-VOILA!-a feeling like one has started over.
In my case, and many people share the same problem, despite passing by the darkest day of the year, December 21st, January feels like the most dismal month. I learned not to start anything in January to find ways to deal with the early nights and late sunrises. During my last hurrah at a friend’s place, watching the new Sherlock episode, I turned to her to ask about the time. We looked at the clock on the streaming music channel:
It looked like ten o’clock at night.
I felt too tired to groan even inwardly. I will make one small, public declaration if only to name the fear:
Get through the January and February nights with books and friends. Keeping remembering each day adds more daylight.
As resolutions go, this one looks like a keeper.